Vinnie Copacetic, Advice Giver, Col. 1.1.1

DucktailDear Vinnie Copacetic,

I threw a party for my 16th Birthday. Right in the middle of the party my boyfriend, Johnny, took this girl Judy outside with him. I thought maybe they were getting me a birthday surprise. I played a lot of records while I was waiting for them to come back, but they were gone a really long time. I didn’t know what was going on, because he’s supposed to be mine!  But when they came back in, she was wearing his ring! Do you think Johnny likes her more than me?
Unlucky Lesley

Dear Dumb Broad,
What was your first clue- maybe when he brought a date to your party?!  When was he ever your boyfriend other than in your head? Your party games are lame, but the Spin the Bottle with a picture of Johnny on your wall was really over the top.They only went to your party because your mom makes the good Chex mix and the dip with genuine Velveeta. It was your dumb party, so they took their party outside. Have yourself a good cry and get over it. I would cry too, if I were as clueless as you.

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